


Darcy and Legolas Vs. Bunnies from Spaaaaaaace!

by TaleasOldasTimeandSpace



Series: Yet Another Gratuitously Fluffy Darcyland Soulmate AU [3]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Darcy Lewis's Taser, Darcyland, F/M, Fluff, HawkShock, SHIP DARCY WITH ALL THE THINGS, SO MUCH FLUFF, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, and crack, not that legolas, tony stark is not a good role model, vampire mutant bunnies from outer space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-26 03:20:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7558162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaleasOldasTimeandSpace/pseuds/TaleasOldasTimeandSpace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy's Life Choices lead her to nearly being eaten by Vampire Mutant Bunnies from Outer Space.  But hey, at least she meets her soulmate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darcy and Legolas Vs. Bunnies from Spaaaaaaace!

It was times like these that made Darcy seriously question her Life Choices.  True, her best friend was crazy brilliant and punched holes in space for a living, she was on a first-name basis with most of the Avengers, Tony Stark himself had upgraded her taser into something seriously awesome, and the original Norse god of thunder himself called her lightning sister, so her Life Choices had that going for them.  On the other hand, at the moment she was crouched behind a car, clutching her seriously awesome taser and waiting for an opening to dash for better cover as absolute chaos reigned around her.

Oh, and did she mention the Vampire Mutant Bunnies from Outer Space?  Yeah, there were those too.  It was obvious at this point that her Life Choices didn’t really know what they were doing.

A bunny landed in front of her and bared its fangs.  With a cry (which was definitely along the lines of the dwarves charging the goblins in the Battle of the Five Armies and not at all like a high-pitched shriek, thank you very much) she brought up her taser and let the little monster have it.  She didn’t stop until it was a quivering, drooling puddle on the sidewalk.  With a grimace, she poked it with her toe, grateful she was wearing converse and not sandals.  The last thing she needed was naked toes during the Vampire Mutant Bunny Apocalypse.

And to think she used to _like_ bunnies.

It was clear her position was compromised, so she made a dash for the alley she’d been eyeing.  With any luck there’d be a fire escape she could use to get to higher ground.  The bunnies could jump really high, but they didn’t seem to be able to fly (thank Mew-Mew for small mercies) and as far as she could tell, most of the upper levels of the buildings were clear.  She was perfectly willing to park herself in a bunny-free corner like any sensible, powerless civilian and let the Avengers do their thing.

The alley did indeed have a fire escape (score!), but it was currently occupied.  Not by a bunny, fortunately.  Instead, it was the one Avenger she had yet to meet.

When she’d first been introduced to the Avengers, Hawkeye had been off doing Top Secret Super Spy Assassin Stuff with the Black Widow.  And while she’d met Natasha later (she was on a first-name basis with the Black Widow!), of course it would take a Vampire Mutant Bunny Alien Invasion to meet Hawkeye.  Oh well.  At least this way her collection would finally be complete.

He hadn’t seen her yet, too busy shooting bunnies and relaying information to his teammates.  Not wanting to be mistaken for a Vampire Mutant Bunny—it was amazing how often that happened—and get an arrow through the eye, she hissed up at him, _‘Legolas!  What do your elf eyes see?’_

Without looking away from the battle, he replied, _‘Oh, you know, the usual.  Anarchy, mayhem, the end of the world as brought about by bunny space invaders.’_   He looked down at her with a grin.  _‘Never saw my soulmate before, though.  That’s new.’_   A bunny hopped up almost to his level, hissing angrily.  He shot it through the mouth without breaking eye contact with Darcy.

She rolled her eyes.  ‘Showoff.’

‘Always.’  He leaped over the railing of the fire escape and landed lightly next to Darcy.  ‘So, what’s a nice girl like you doing in an apocalypse like this?’

She shrugged.  ‘Shooting Vampire Mutant Bunnies with my handheld lightning, meeting my soulmate.’  She leaned around him to shoot a bunny that was trying to sneak up on them.  ‘Nothing much to write home about.  You?’

He whirled, whipping out an arrow and shooting another bunny before she could blink.  ‘Same.  Though I prefer to use archaic medieval weaponry than the latest gadget.’

She raised an eyebrow, looking pointedly at the bunny that was now thrashing in an unbreakable net.  ‘Oh yeah, I can see that.  No gadgets for you, none at all.  Nuh-uh.’

‘Eh, what can I say?  I’m a simple man at heart.’

‘As long as you’re not simple in the head, I guess.’

He narrowed his eyes.  ‘Hey!  I resemble that remark!’

A wild Captain America materialized in the mouth of the alleyway, bringing up his shield just in time to block the leap of another bunny.  The was a dull thump, and the bunny slid to the ground with a whimper.  Cap glanced at them over his shoulder.  ‘Can you two not flirt in the middle of a war zone?  Or at least, not over open comms?’ he asked, deadpan.

There was a whine of repulsors, and Darcy looked up to see Iron Man hovering above them.  ‘Don’t listen to Captain Grouchypants.  He’s just jealous 'cause he doesn’t have a girlfriend.  A war zone is the _best_ place to flirt.’

Darcy crossed her arms, unimpressed.  ‘Yeah, because I’m going to take relationship advice from Human Disaster!Tony Stark.  I’m going to tell Pepper you said that, by the way.’

He put an offended hand on his chest.  ‘I’ll have you know Google tells me I’m almost a functional member of society.  Plus, I’m older than you, so you have to do what I say.’

She stuck her tongue out.  ‘You’re not the boss of me.’

‘Actually—’

‘ _Pepper_ is the boss of me.’

He thought about it for a minute before nodding.  ‘Pepper is the boss of all of us.’

‘Uh, guys?’  Hawkeye gently pushed her behind him.  ‘We’ve still got company.  _Big_ company.’

Everyone’s heads swiveled to the street, where a bunny the size of a Volkswagen Bug was lumbering towards them, glowing orange slime dripping from its fangs.  Before anyone could react, a giant green fist slammed into the bunny, sending it crashing into a line of stalled cars.  The Hulk appeared in the mouth of the alley, glaring at them disapprovingly.  Darcy waved.  ‘What’s up, Doc?’ she asked brightly.  Hawkeye snickered, and she rested her forehead on his shoulder with a slightly hysterical giggle.  ‘How is this even my life, anyway?’ she asked the back of his tactical suit.

The Hulk snorted.  ‘Less talk.  More fight.’

‘Much as I love the sound of my voice, I gotta agree with the Big Guy there.’  Iron Man made peace signs with both hands, then flew off after the motherbunny.  ‘Hop to it, people!’

Cap shook his head.  ‘Much as _I_ hate to agree with Tony—’

_‘I heard that!’_ Iron Man yelled as he whizzed past.

‘—he’s right.  Clint, get Darcy someplace safe, then meet up with Nat and Thor.  We’ve got to get these rabbits under control before they turn Manhattan into their personal hutch.’

Darcy peeked around Clint’s (very nice) arm.  ‘Not to mention they probably breed like, well, rabbits, so they’ll probably overrun the world in like a week.’

Hawkeye gave Cap a two-fingered salute, then shot a grappling hook arrow to the top of one the buildings.  He snaked an arm around Darcy’s waist and pulled her close.  ‘Going my way?’ he asked with a grin.

She linked her arms around his neck.  ‘Always.’  She laughed at the rush as he pulled them to the roof.

He set her on her feet, keeping his arm around her waist.  ‘I’ll be back for you as soon as I can.  Keep your head down and try not to die while I’m gone, okay?  I’d hate for my soulmate to get turned into rabbit food before I could take her out for coffee or whatever.’

She rolled her eyes.  ‘My hero.’  Stretching up, she pressed a quick kiss to his lips.  ‘Take care of yourself.  I’d hate for _you_ to die before you can buy me that coffee.’  Smirking, she added, ‘I have expensive taste in coffee.’

He gave her a wide, goofy grin and swooped in to return the kiss.  ‘I’ll buy you all the coffee you can drink.  Lemme take care of those wascally wabbits and I’ll be back in a flash.’

As Darcy watched him rappel back down to street level, she decided that maybe her Life Choices weren’t so bad after all. 

**Author's Note:**

> The Vampire Mutant Alien Bunny Apocalypse is averted by skill, daring, and an excess of Loony Tunes references. Darcy and Clint do get that coffee afterwards. Later, Clint and Darcy rain unholy terror and glitter on the Tower residents from the vents.
> 
> And there you have the third of my favourite Darcy ships! They may or may not reflect my three favourite Avengers. You can't prove anything.
> 
> I promise I'm not ignoring all my WIPs. Well actually I am. Okay, I promise I haven't abandoned my WIPs. I'm just dealing with some Life Issues(tm) right now, and apparently I cope by writing fluffy Darcyland soulmate fics. There are worse coping mechanisms, I suppose.
> 
> I've officially turned this into a series, and am opening it up for prompts. Leave Words or scenarios in the comments or my [ask box](https://taleasoldastime-andspace.tumblr.com/ask) on tumblr. I only ask that you keep it G-rated and F/M. I don't write smut or slash.


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